seitzk (seitzk) wrote,

On consent and supposed differences in men's vs. women's styles of communication

GREAT article in The Guardian in which a researcher takes down the myth of unintelligible communication styles by gender, specifically around how this operates in consent to sex. Fucking brilliant. Here's a bit -

"Because refusing an invitation - even one that is much less sensitive than a sexual proposal - is a more delicate matter than accepting one. The act of inviting someone implies that you hope they will say yes: if they say no, there is a risk that you will be offended, upset, or just disappointed. To show that they are aware of this, and do not want you to feel bad, people generally design refusals to convey reluctance and regret.

Because this pattern is so consistent, and because it contrasts with the pattern for the alternative response, acceptance, refusals are immediately recognisable as such. In fact, the evidence suggests that people can tell a refusal is coming as soon as they register the initial hesitation. And when I say "people", I mean people of both sexes. No one has found any difference between men's and women's use of the system I have just described."

Also, an awesome reaction post, "On the supposed inability of men to understand refusals".

(via Feministe.)
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  • 1 comment
Thanks for sharing this - it and the article she posted the following day make for great reads.